"Comical Processing" features drawings by award-winning cartoonist Jerry King. It’s our way of letting you take a break from all the serious stuff you deal with at work — by coming up with appropriate light-hearted captions.
HR has informed me of some inappropriate use of X-ray vision
during office meetings.
Honorable Mentions
"And will you stop yelling "Up, up and away!" when you press the elevator button?" Submitted by Rob Falconer; Lakeland, Fla.
"We don't wanna let you go, but if you don't get some help for your little kryptonite problem, our hands are tied." Submitted by Konrad Schwoerke
"I'm sorry but we have to let you go. Your constant complaining about no phone booths and our custodians frequently finding you naked in the broom closets is just too much!" Submitted by Chuck Lewis
Other Submissions
"This isn't what I had in mind when I suggested the Safety Department purchase superior PPE!"Submitted by Laurie Passini; Helmond, Afghanistan"So your here to take my daughter on a date. Are you employed? Do you travel much? Is there anyone that could vouch for your character?" Submitted by Chuck Lewis
" Jim, if this is your idea of a flying start for this position, it ain't gonna work!" Submitted by Muhammad Farooq Akram; Ghilzai, Jubail, KSA
"I know kids' birthday party's can be rough Stan but we're just a small time talent agency. It could have been worse, I just sent Larry the midget dressed like a girl to a bachelor's party." Submitted by Chuck Lewis
"Please take that memo down to accounting, but you need to use the stairs. We haven't worked up job safety analysis for flying through the window." Submitted by Doug Blakeley; Stoughton, Mass.
"Well Supe, your mother and I are worried. You have no 401K, no life insurance, comic book sells are down. You can't leap out of bed let alone leap a tall building in a single bound. How about coming to work for me in the exciting world of hardware? " Submitted by Chuck Lewis
"Bob, you think that will help you stop the next run away reaction?" Submitted by Harold Paine
"Hey! that's the missing page from the new formula get it over to R & D before they start missing it. " Submitted by George Collins
"Now remember Henry, that Management Consultant said this would up your workload 10 fold and we can sell the company jet!" Submitted by Craig Watkinson; Nottingham, UK
"Alex I didn't move the phone booth and if you don't stop blaming me there's going to be big trouble." Submitted by George Collins
"Just between you and me - that room was full of Kryptonite!" Submitted by Becky Saxena
"I hope you don’t think that getup will help with your performance review." Submitted by Kirby Hostetler; Barberton, Ohio
"I might have said you're doing a 'super' job around here, but don't push it." Submitted by Kirby Hostetler; Barberton, Ohio
"You may be Superman but you're still not getting a promotion." Submitted by Alex Schuettenberg; Bartlesville, Okla.
" If you don't get back to work I will chew off you big RED S_ _." Submitted by Bill Ebbinghouser; West Caldwell, N.J.
"Don't kill the messenger, but I just seen Lois slipping out with Underdawg." Submitted by George Collins
"Ralph just because you look like superman don't mean you work like one." Submitted by George Collins
" I SAID, 'I wish I had SUPPER, man...'" Submitted by Jim McDow; Augusta, Ga.
" I'm sorry, but the cape and tights don't meet safe work dress codes." Submitted by Robert Andrew
" We hired Clark Kent, not Superman. The cape and tights have to go." Submitted by Robert Andrew
" You mean you came to work without your work clothes instead you came to work in your play clothes." Submitted by Donald Drummond; Clarksburg W. Va.
" Is the 'S' for silly or simply stupid?" Submitted by Katherine Dressel
" No!, I will not dress up as Wonder Woman for the company party!" Submitted by Alan Vaughn; Mesa, Ariz.
" You can't wear that into the meeting! Your tights keep riding up and it bothers the other Super Salespeople!" Submitted by Alan Vaughn; Mesa, Ariz.
"Marketing Dept: You know those aren't the company colors. Put the green outfit back on!" Submitted by Alan Vaughn; Mesa, Ariz.
" What do you mean the chemicals dissolved the rest of your clothing?" Submitted by Alan Vaughn; Mesa, Ariz.
" I know the company Psychologist said we'd be doing role playing in the meeting, but I don't think she meant this kind of role playing." Submitted by Alan Vaughn; Mesa, Ariz.
" How many times do I have to tell you, Capes are for outside sales calls only!" Submitted by Alan Vaughn; Mesa, Ariz.
" No I don't think the customers want 'Super-Rep' to do the presentation!" Submitted by Shirley Grover; Towanda, Pa.
"I'm pretty sure Bob was just kidding when he said that today is 'Superman Pajama Day.'" Submitted by Bo Getty; Baton Rouge, La.
" We've had our suspicions ever since we realized you were using the elevator." Submitted by Rob Falconer; Lakeland, Fla.
"This isn't what we envisioned when casual Fridays were instituted." Submitted by Cameron Watt
" I expect you to be wearing a tie tomorrow; now get back to your 'Fortress of Solitude.'" Submitted by Cameron Watt
" You do super work but we've been talking and have decided that we like your alter-ego better." Submitted by Cameron Watt
" Ultrafilter-YES. Superfilter-NO." Submitted by Cameron Watt
"I take it that you haven't gone home since Friday's party." Submitted by Cameron Watt
"We often make allowances for a staff member's eccentricities but the dress code stands." Submitted by Cameron Watt
"I don't care if it makes you feel more confident. . . " Submitted by Bridget Jeff, Berea, Ohio
