"Comical Processing" features drawings by award-winning cartoonist Jerry King. It’s our way of letting you take a break from all the serious stuff you deal with at work — by coming up with appropriate light-hearted captions.
It's my retirement fund . . . according to my broker it's the only
thing guaranteed to go up in value.
"It's for a Government-sponsored project." Submitted by Tim Van Dyke, Medina, Ohio
" No, I'm not compensating for something else." Submitted by Kirby Hostetler
"It's left over from our Y2K plans so I thought we could use it for our pandemic planning." Submitted by Tom Dingo
"This is the gas tank for my new hybrid." Submitted by Mervin Archer; Grove, Okla.
"After Cap-and-Trade I wont be able to afford any." Submitted by Mike Resetarits; Stillwater, Okla.
"My wife just bought a Hummer." Submitted by Mike Resetarits; Stillwater, Okla.
"As the dollar goes down, gasoline goes up!" Submitted by Larry Addington; Quapaw, Okla.
"This "Jerry" lives life "King" size." Submitted by Jatin D. Shah; Mumbai, India
"We're gonna need a longer hose." Submitted by Lynn Wheat; Collierville, Tenn.
"It's only a Smart car under there, I just want everyone to think I earn enough to drive a real gas guzzler." Submitted by Simon Brown
"Yep, last time we jump started it, must've blacked out most of the east coast." Submitted by W. Carroll Fox, Jr.
"Actually, getting the cap off is pretty easy. The real trick with this thing is to not open the air vent to better control the flow when pouring." Submitted by David Debari
"You think that's big, you should see my lawn mower!" Submitted by Thomas Spence; Dayton, Ohio
"OK, so my lawn mower is not exactly what you would call Green." Submitted by Greg Morgan
"Yeah, King Kong. He just dropped it by and said he'd be back next week to pick it up." Submitted by C. Elwell, Lees Summit, Mo.
"I know, I know, but it was the only size they had left!" Submitted by Reid Yeargan; Valdosta, Ga.
"She was kinda' cute and had run out of gas, so I told her we'd give her enough to fill a Gerry can . . then this thing showed up." Submitted by George R. Litwinski
"Please hurry, I've got a long walk back to my car." Submitted by Willy Wilson; Austin, Texas
"Everybody and everything gets downsized . . . but not the oil industry." Submitted by Jatin D. Shah; Mumbai, India
"The dealer said with their SUV I would get 1,000 miles on 1 jerry can of gas." Submitted by James Davidson
"Al Gore ran out of gas down the road. He needs to fill his SUV." Submitted by James Carlock
"The Grand Prize was a free can of gas. Fill-er-up!" Submitted by Bo Getty
"Do you think this will help the economic stimulus plan?" Submitted by Ronald Dixon
"We're ready for Green House Gas Emissions taxes, are you?" Submitted by Tom Williams; Richmond, Va.
"What’s the big deal . . . I drive a Hummer." Submitted by Robert Andrew
"Some guy from Dubai gave it to me for free, can you believe it?" Submitted by Jay Sheerer
"Don't just stand there looking at it. Fill it." Submitted by Donald Drummond; Clarksburg, W. Va.
"Gulliver's run out of gas again." Submitted by Rob Falconer; Lakeland, Fla.
"But don't tell anyone what Obama told me - I don't want to start a panic." Submitted by Rob Falconer; Lakeland, Fla.