Comical Processing: You Write The Cartoon Caption Winner March 17, 2015

Congratulations to Michael T. Green, Matthews, N.C. His caption made us laugh the loudest.

"Comical Processing" features drawings by award-winning cartoonist Jerry King. It’s our way of letting you take a break from all the serious stuff you deal with at work — by coming up with appropriate light-hearted captions.

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I know it worked for Jerry Lewis ... but that was a movie Dave..

Honorable Mentions

"I don't think people want explosive laxatives." Submitted by Alan Vaughn, Mesa, Ariz.

"You were just supposed to make the coffee!" Submitted by Benjamin Jezovnik, Newell, W. Va.

"Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble! is not exactly the company line we are looking for." Submitted by David Vetere, Ingomar, Pa.

"Must you carbonate everything?" Submitted by Kirby Hostetler, Barberton, Ohio

"Knock it off, you're scaring the interns..." Submitted by Larry Shade, Augusta, Ga.

"I think we should consider outsourcing our R&D work." Submitted by Tara Bronson, Rancho Cordova, Calfi.

"Working on your Rogine replacement formula again, I see!" Submitted by William Mostia, League City, Texas

Other Submissions

"OK, Dr. Jeckyl, Which one is the Sloe Gin Fizz" Submitted by Contact: Chris Nielsen, Rahway, N.J.

"Where are your PPE's?...." Submitted by Abbas Raza, Abu Dhabi

"For the millionth time Frank, you're not a mad scientist - - you're making Skittles" Submitted by Alicia Clemons, Gladstone, Mo.

"Nonsense I've been drinking this stuff for years" Submitted by Anthony Pepe, Hauppauge, N.Y.

"For the 10th time would you wear your safety gear? You already lost 2 thumbs. Also, turn the vent on I have smelt enough colorful gasses from you for one day." Submitted by Antonio Baeza, Alsip, Ill.

"RAINBOXIN would be a nice name for that new-coated poison pill." Submitted by Bill Harris, Topsham, Maine

"So, aren't you a little early for coloring your Easter eggs?" Submitted by Bill Herring, Valparaiso, Ind.

"Drop the food coloring." Submitted by Bill Stuble, Cora, Wy.

"Bob, FDA on Line 1" or "Now Bob, is this haloween going to be a repeat of last year's haloween?" or "So I says to my friend with the wooden leg, "Peg," I says......" or "I believe they've already invented hair straightener." Submitted by Bob Borut, Houston

"Relax, it's only flavored soda pop." Submitted by Bob Skulemowski, Minneapolis

"Lime green, Lemon yellow, G-E-O-R-G-E, Tricks are for KIDS!" Submitted by Bruce Parks, Cortland, Ohio

"Looks to me like you already had a little too much of the hair of the dog of the night before!" Submitted by Cherie Avallon, Hammond, Ind.

"For Pete's sake, all I wanted was a vodka martini." Submitted by Chris Eicher, Bakersfield, Calif.

"I told you to stay away from the Scittles!!" Submitted by Christopher White, Furlong, Pa.

"... and it has to be non-toxic, recyclable, sustainable, environmentally friendly, and smell like lilacs." Submitted by Craig Reinhart, Vernon Hills, Ill.

"Can I have my Mentos back?" Submitted by Dale Stout, Colorado Springs

"Doctor, it's been 30 years since "New Coke"...just let it go." Submitted by Dan Diamantstein, Atlanta

"I always wanted to tie dye my lab coats! Now I am ready!" Submitted by Dan Dimitriu, San Antonio, Texas

"Dr. Jekyll, Do you know where Mr. Hyde is?" Submitted by Dana Kolodziejczyk, Orland Park, Ill.

"Wonka called, he says there is a little problem with the blueberry flavoring we sent him?" Submitted by David Debari, Cantonment, Fla.

"Henry I really think the Jello thing has gone to far!" Submitted by David Longwell, East Greenville, Pa.

"Senior Management is requesting an update on your high entropy probabilistic measure of random chaos as proven through Waxman's Law*. * Everything tastes more or less like chicken." Submitted by David Madden

"Well, I see you've mixed the blue with the green again...." Submitted by David Sloan, San Antonio, Texas

"Kramer, what do you plan to do when Jerry notices all his Snapple is missing?" Submitted by Dean Brone, Marlborough, Mass.

"So I see that you finally have developed a hair tonic recipe!" Submitted by Dee Duncan, Highlands Ranch, Colo.

"If you are really serious about getting promoted, I would once again suggest that you don't try a new formula on a Friday." Submitted by Derek Rainwaters, Pascagoula, Miss.

"How many times have I told you that smart Chemists don't try new formulas on a Friday?" Submitted by Derek Rainwaters, Pascagoula, Miss.

"Are you totally nuts!! Get your stuff off my new red scarf." Submitted by Des Sterley, King of Prussia, Pa.

"You're supposed to be coming up with the newest mocha latte flavor, you're not an "evil scientist" trying to "rule the world."" Submitted by Drew Hevle, Houston

"Don't you think 10^umpteenth Scoville units will be enough to win the hot pepper contest or at least power a small nuclear submarine?" Submitted by Ed Tromp, Grand Rapids, Mich.

"Don't you think 10^umpteenth Scoville units will be enough to win the hot pepper contest or at least power a small nuclear submarine? "Knock your socks off" was a figurative expression, not an experimental goal!!" Submitted by Ed Tromp, Grand Rapids, Mich.

"Don't you think 10^umpteenth Scoville units will be enough to win the hot pepper contest or at least power a small nuclear submarine?" Submitted by Ed Tromp, Grand Rapids, Mich.

"So, the secret ingredient was in your lava lamp?" Submitted by Emil Ciurczak, Goldens Bridge, N.Y.

"So, the secret ingredient was in your lava lamp?" Submitted by Emil Ciurczak, Goldens Bridge, N.Y.

"I don't think Eye of Newt is on FDA's GRAS list." Submitted by Eric Gruff, Poway, Calif.

"Darling, you need a lot of time? I need to go to the market before coming home!" Submitted by Ernesto Calderon, Quito, Ecuador

"Don't get excited Ralph. That is just colored fizzy water for my son's science display." Submitted by Fred Durrenberger, Columbia, Mo.

"No! You've not discovered the formula for COKE!" Submitted by Gary Sams, Springs, Texas

"I will NOT call you "Jerry Nye" the science guy!" Submitted by George Hudak, Broken Arrow, Okla.

"Jerry, this is supposed to be "Career Day", stop playing with Mr. Smith's chemistry kit!" Submitted by George Hudak, Broken Arrow, Okla.

"Mr. Smith, this is supposed to be "Career Day", stop playing with my classrooms chemistry kit and discuss the role of Chemical Engineers in industry." Submitted by George Hudak, Broken Arrow, Okla,

"Have we been, "running tests", again Jerry?" Submitted by George Lavoie, Georgetown, Maine

"Dr. Jekyll, I wouldn't taste any of them, I've I kind of strange feeling..." Submitted by Gianluca Premoli, Schaffhausen, Switzerland

"Oh Freddy, such beautiful colors... too bad they smell as nice as they look!" Submitted by Harve Anderson, Darien, Ill.

"These flourscent colors are 'Chemistry' of our relation." Submitted by Hemant Shriram, Mumbai, India

"Heureka! The type of orgasm you get depends on the colour of the bublles you touch!" Submitted by Ille Johannes, Tallinn, Estonia

"EPA is hear" Submitted by J Marks, Waddell, Ariz.

"Will you stop the mad scientist routine? The kids are waiting for their refreshments!" Submitted by Jake Douglas, Beaumont, Texas

"I told you to use the kitchen like everyone else to prepare your lunch." Submitted by James McGlone, Columbus, Ohio

"I hope it,s not your turn to make coffee this morning." Submitted by Jerry Bowman, Mount Airy, N.C.

"Why don't YOU use just a little blue, and a little green to save your frustration?" Submitted by Jim Nicholson, Columbus, Ohio

"I told you that making your own energy drinks was a bad idea." Submitted by Jim Piaszynski, Webster City, Iowa

"Frank, as impressive as the new hair tonic is, we are in the business of making play dough, and not making kids look like Don King." Submitted by Joe Mrnka, Grand Rapids, Mich.

"I wish you could show this kind of enthusiasm in your reports." Submitted by John Opiola, Tedlford, Pa.

"Kool Aid is for kids, Professor, cool it." Submitted by John Power, Walker, La.

"Kool Aid is for kids, Professor. Now Cool it!" Submitted by John Power, Walker, La.

"Somehow I don't think that labeling them "organic' will sell." Submitted by John S. Sitasz, Darien, Ill.

"This is the last time that I'll ask YOU to fix a "neat" drink!" Submitted by John Saunders, Birmingham, Ala.

"Did you complete this job hazard assessment? Seems like you're having WAY too much fun." Submitted by John Tiessen, Northlake, Ill.

"Why so dramatic?! Just put the Kool Aid in a regular pitcher for the kids!" Submitted by Joseph Bedson, San Antonio, Texas

"Magic of Science" Submitted by Kala Patel, Princeton, N.J.

"Harry Bristle the Lab Chemist took making coffee for his coworkers to the next level." Submitted by Karl Schaap, Waconia, Minn.

"Your wife called and said for you to return your sons chemistry set." Submitted by Keith Jones, Charlotte, N.C.

"No, George. your creation is not coming to life. It's just the new flavored seltzers." Submitted by Kenneth Russell, Buford, Ga.

"Yes, Yes. I can see it's the world's strongest hair gel." Submitted by Kirby Hostetler, Barberton, Ohio

"Aren't you taking this idea of a new M&M color a little too seriously?" Submitted by Lorrie-Ann Fisher, Elgin, Ill.

"The KIDS are waiting for their snow cones" Submitted by Mack Ragon, Crystal Springs, Miss.

"Hey Malcolm, have you seen my cat?" Submitted by Malcolm Brown, South Salem, N.Y.

"Ha ha can't you see Sally I have just revolutionize a new green cosmetic line, seriously Frank we all ready know the chemical reactions for the green cosmetic line but you didn't have to make it green !" Submitted by Margaret Thornton, Boulder, Colo.

"I think a cup of coffee would be easier." Submitted by Mark McMillen, Allison Park, Pa.

"Stop fooling around, What's for dinner?!" Submitted by Martin Czebotar, Linden, N.J.

"More "jumping beans" is not the solution!" Submitted by Marvin Sager, Rockville, Md.

"Okay!... Let's see if we can't get that yawning problem cured my dear. I'll start with the.........YELLOW ONE FIRST!" Submitted by Matt Craddock, Jacksonville, Fla.

"Simply choose your salad dressing and move on doctor!" Submitted by Matthew Watkins, Memphis

"You are working on a new color for a crayon. You are not creating a new potion to take over the world. Can we get back to work now?" Submitted by Michael Rogers, Cottage Grove, Minn,

"AND NOW!-- to create the world's driest Martini" Submitted by Micheal Odom, Houston

"You cannot patent mixing yellow and blue to make green." Submitted by Mike Gentilcore, Hazelwood, Mo.

"What… more new coloring for tattoo ink?" Submitted by Mike Grillo, Waterloo, Iowa

"You said it explodes and then what?" Submitted by Mike Kolf, Rockville, Md.

"Enjoying our colored bubbles are we?" Submitted by Mike Kolf, Rockville, Md.

"Enjoying our colored bubbles are we?" Submitted by Mike Kolf, Rockville, Md.

"Are you really doing an experiment or just playing with colors?" Submitted by Mukti Rao, Buena, N.J.

"It's a good thing you're not color blind! One drop in the wrong flask and we're finished." Submitted by Nick Morante, Selden, N.Y.

"Skittles has already been invented - stopping chasing the rainbow..." Submitted by Orlando Rainey, Winchester, Va.

"Seriously ...... Six Months worth of work.... And all you have is --- Yellow and Blue make Green..." Submitted by Patrick Foster, Sweeny, Texas

"Is that the colorful life you have been promising me ?!..." Submitted by Paulo Casteloes , Rio De Janeiro, Brazil

"Is that the colorful life you have been promising me ?!..." Submitted by Paulo Casteloes, Rio De Janeiro, Brazil

"Just remember to leave your "work" at the lab' when you go home!" Submitted by Peter Norton, Tampa, Fla.

"You're going to call it 'a smoothie'?" Submitted by Phil Mancil, Plano, Texas

"LifeEnriching Colors!" Submitted by R Iyer, Houston

"Why can't you just take Viagra (TM), like other men?" Submitted by R Wayne Skilton, King of Prussia, Pa.

"Mr. Wonka? What's in those? Ginger ale, ginger pop, ginger beer, beer bubbles, bubbleade, bubblecola, double cola, double-bubble-burple-cola, and all the crazy carbonated stuff that tickles your nose. Few people realize the tremendous power these have. " Submitted by Rachel Legler, Bradley, Ill.

"She say,- I wonder what kind of hangover they might be suffering. He say.- I'm a master in mixology!" Submitted by Ricardo G, San Diego

"You realize we can no longer afford to retain "mad scientists" - the HR department insists only "highly annoyed" ones are allowed." Submitted by Richard Kajander, Munising, Mich.

"I know I can do this.....I've done it before." Submitted by Richard Rockett, Middlesex, N.C.

"For Pete's sake Joe its Friday and you just don't understand the concept of "Happy Hour"" Submitted by Rick Herrmann, Abbeville, La.

"Frank, QED stands for "Thus it is proven", not "Quick Effervescent Delight"." Submitted by Rick Torchia, Bakersfield, Calif.

"It's called the "Nobel Prise", not the "Korbel Prise"..." Submitted by Rick Torchia, Bakersfield, Calif.

"You know you should be wearing a respirator, and I thought you hair was natural!" Submitted by Rickey Allred, Jamestown, N.M.

"I wouldn't put those Mentos into that Diet Coke...your hair never recovered from last time" Submitted by Robert Janoschek, Marlborough, Mass.

"You know your not allowed in here Dr. Jeckel." Submitted by Robert Pyke, Brookdale, Calif

"I hope you are not coming up with a cleanser, remember what happened the last time..." Submitted by Roger Cassell, West Alexandria, Ohio

"You do know that - "Thiotimoline" is fiction..." Submitted by Roy Thomas, Nevada

"If you ask me, "The flask with black solution is the least reactive so we should go with that one."" Submitted by Shannon Wideman, Cleveland, Tenn.

"Wade, you have been working 115 hours straight, I hope one of those is a new shower soap formulation." Submitted by Stephen Woessner, Minneapolis

"Pretty colors.....Now what ?" Submitted by Steve Mattes, Chicago Heights, Ill.

"As your supervisor, when I said you had a chemical imbalance, I wasn't referring to your work!" Submitted by Steven Stein, Woodland, Calif.

"Oh stop -- I saw you pull out the baking soda and food coloring." Submitted by Sue Gonzalez, Berea, Ohio

"Listen! Stop going Nuts! You don't have to lose everything - just put stoppers in the flasks - and by the way, how come the black liquid doesn't also levitate?" Submitted by Syd Furrow, Kingwood, Texas

"I agree they're pretty, but should you be doing that under a hood?" Submitted by Tim Cullina, Burr Ridge, Ill.

"Um, excuse me, Mr. Hyde? In our meeting with HR and H,S,&E, I believe we all agreed you weren't to continue Dr. Jekyll's work after he "went home" for the day." Submitted by Tom Brown, Cambridge, Mass.

"I'm telling you again George I'm not letting my mother drink that!!" Submitted by Tom Dallessandro, King of Prussia, Pa.

"Its' always the same Dam green bubbles" Submitted by Vic Scena, Walpole, Mass.

"So, I see you found your old box of Fizzies." Submitted by William Herring, Valparaiso, Ind.

"I think that you have worked on the "8-hour Energy Drink" project long enough Jenkins." Submitted by William King, Stamford. Conn.

"New energy drink?" Submitted by William Miller, Silsbee, Texas