Comical Processing: You Write The Cartoon Caption Winner April 7, 2016

Congratulations to Dave Switzer of Blue Springs, Mo. Dave penned the punniest caption of the bunch.

"Comical Processing" features drawings by award-winning cartoonist Jerry King. It’s our way of letting you take a break from all the serious stuff you deal with at work — by coming up with appropriate light-hearted captions.

cartoon 160310 resized
If you have an ignition that lasts over four hours, see your doctor right away.

Honorable Mentions

"Turn your monitor to the right and cough, again!!!!" Submitted by Bobby Villemarette, Baton Rouge, La.

"You're not the only one with igniter problems!" Submitted by Chuck Lewis, Springfield, Ohio

"The Work Order said this thing had HART, but I don't hear anything." Submitted by David Debari, Cantonment, Fla.

"" I'd be friends with the sparrows And the boy that shoots the arrows; If I only had a heart." I know, I know, you're just an empty kettle and I'm no wizard." Submitted by Joe Davis, Webster Groves, Mo.

Other Submissions

"Somehow I'm wondering if I use the right procedure and tools ..." Submitted by Agung Witjaksono, Jakarta, Indonesia

"Look - it's OK once in a while for a furnace to get heart burn." Submitted by Alex Spataru, Los Angeles

"take a deep breath" Submitted by Ali Ekrem Onar, Istanbul, Turkey

"I hear an unusual murmur. I suggest an ECG" Submitted by Anand Rau, Lincoln, Neb.

"Everything seems to be working fine, it seems rather a psychological thing than an organic thing" Submitted by Assem Abdou, Geismar, La.

"Yes you are older but everything sounds fine since we performed that triple vacuum bypass." Submitted by Chuck Lewis, Springfield, Ohio

"I know I know. Nobody likes it but it is necessary so turn your dial and cough." Submitted by Chuck Lewis, Springfield, Ohio

"OK, now take a deep breath and cough." Submitted by Chuck Lewis, Springfield, Ohio

"I really need to change my Company name,"Computer Doctor" makes me do dumb stuff." Submitted by Craig Orwick, Dallas

"The gizmo hooked to the whatchamacallit seems to be running slower. It may be time to consider retirement." Submitted by David Ruff, Columbia, S.C.

"Does it hurt if I push this button?" Submitted by Douglas Price, Youngstown, Ohio

"Laugh if you want to, but he gets results." Submitted by Eric Finley, Houston

"When I said we need a "digital diagnosis" I didn't think we were calling in an MD!" Submitted by George Hudak, Broken Arrow, Okla.

"Jenny, I got your number, I need to make you mine, Jenny, don't change your number 867-5309" Submitted by George Lavoie, Georgetown, Maine

"Very good! Not really young any more, but still surprisingly strong as Steel!" Submitted by Gianluca Premoli, Schaffhausen, Switzerland

"So tell me what seems to be the problem." Submitted by Jason Mitchell, Amherst, Ohio

"What's this about a heartbeat between the redundant controllers? I don't hear anything." Submitted by Jim Wesnor

"Boy they weren't kidding when they said you were burning up." Submitted by Joe Davis, Webster Groves, Mo.

"Ooooooooh, I see the problem. A big boy furnace like yourself should be burning a high energy fuel, not wood and paper waste." Submitted by Joe Davis, Webster Groves, Mo.

"Nobody know the trouble I seen; nobody know my sorrow" Submitted by Joe Davis, Webster Groves, Mo.

"No. I said when was the last time you had a PM?!! Not a BM." Submitted by Joe Davis, Webster Groves, Mo.

"I'm afraid, we're going to have to go in and operate. There's nothing to be afraid of, you won't feel a thing. When you wake up, you'll be running like a top. What? Yes yes, I know you're a furnace." Submitted by Joe Davis, Webster Groves, Mo.

"While checking and testing the building's HVAC system, George picks up some interesting information through the vents: The CEO has a chicky on the side; buy shares of ACME anvils; and Milton Waddams is getting canned, again." Submitted by Joe Davis, Webster Groves, Mo.

"I think it's time for last rites. This process is no more." Submitted by Kenneth Russell, Buford, Ga.

"Sounds like it's dead." Submitted by Lamont Mallett, Livonia, Mich.

"Could've sworn the instrument techs said this controller was a heart attack waiting to happen" Submitted by Mark Daigle, Manchester, Maine

"Cousin of the Tin Man, he has no heart beat!" Submitted by Martin Czebotar, Linden, N.J.

"There is a heart beat with gaseous reflux, and an indication that the end of my stethoscope is cold and tickles!" Submitted by Marvin Sager, Rockville, Md.

"Ooo, is it still alive?" Submitted by Muhammad Ammar, Islamabad, Pakistan

"My diagnosis is that this control panel has reached obsolesce. Replace immediately with a modern basic process control system and human machine interface..." Submitted by Orlando Rainey, Front Royal, Va.

"Do you know what a MD does? So, stop quoting Freud!..." Submitted by Paulo Casteloes, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

"Seventh Sigma..... I listen for obsolete processes and they don't even know they're dead." Submitted by Richard Kajander, Munising. Mich.

"Where does it hurt?" Submitted by Robert Andrew, Lakeland, Fla.

"Wow I get to use the black bag and stethoscope I got when I was going to go to med school instead of engineering." Submitted by Robert Andrew, Lakeland, Fla.

"I'm done here. Now turn your head and cough." Submitted by Robert Shumate, Cincinnati

"Mmm, I hear the issue...Does it hurt?" Submitted by Sov Chadwick, San Antonio, Texas

"Related HSE Cartoon with the system of Chemical Processing." Submitted by Syed Qoraish, Lahore, Pakistan

"Debugged, debungled.......descampering now" Submitted by T H Leow, Singapore