Honorable Mentions
"The new microwave is fast, but ..." by George Hudak
"I think I found the smell." by Stephen Duke
"As Leo's Geiger counter goes off the charts, he is having second thoughts about attending the Lunch-N-Learn series titled "Radiation, No Big Deal."" by Chuck Lewis
"The EPA inspectors finally tracked down the source of the plant's increased methane emissions, resulting in one of the biggest "Taco Tax" fines in the State of California's history." by Robert Bauer
Other Submissions
"I told you it was liver and onions day in the cafeteria..." by Kris Mullaly
"Ever since the Cafeteria went vegan with beans as the mainstay, I have to check the LEL before each time they fire up the stoves and ovens." by Jeanne Clark
"The sudden increase in depressed employees was traced to a cheap Walmart microwave oven." by Tim Feider
"After investigating why all the employees had great tans... HSE found the new microwave was the source." by George Hudak
"Bill ordered a dozen hot wings but unfortunately they gave him the Nuclear hot sauce!" by Scott Mourier
"I wish they would boil their pasta on the stove like a normal person." by Ryan McGinty
"Will the Paprika sauce be strong?" by Marcelo Tagliabue
"Homer Simpson must be working the day shift!" by Jeffrey Didas
"The methane lower flammability limit was exceeded after Jeremy decided to share his brussel sprout bean casserole." by Tim Feider
"The companies new COVID protocols seem a little extreme." by George Hudak
"Now we have a source of all the "belly aching" around the office." by Marvin Sager
"Let's see if this Fauci meter really works." by Carl White
"Ted, along with his Honeywell XL Toxic Gas Meter proved his theory that there is a correlation between the cafeteria nauseous odors and Taco Tuesday." by Chuck Lewis
"Measuring temperature by avoid covid" by Nain Aguado
"Hmm. The flyer did say free pizza." by Dave Matta
"Hmmm - somebody must have nuked his food too hard." by Ole Raadam
"Chilli again" by Michael Chernishenko
"If it's a lunch room, why's my Geiger Counter showing bars?" by Avneesh Kaur
"I think it's time to clear out the fridge again." by James Rollins
"Second thought, that's the last time I use the office microwave." by Dave Matta
"It was a true "fight or flight" moment for Truman. "Do I listen to the voice of reason and leave or do I proceed to the free chocolate chip cookies!"" by Chuck Lewis
"After contractors brought free burritos, Wally analyzes the rampant farts." by Elizabeth Amedee
"Oh, no. Not the refrigerator." by Dave Matta
"Looks like the company's red beans and rice for lunch was a success but the rooms exhaust fan is still too small." by Dave Schwellinger
"Wow, I knew those burritos were doing some damage in there" by Liz Am
"Those newly introduced RADIOACTIVE BROCOLLI BURGERS have got my dosimeter flying off the scale faster than the Chernobyl explosion! Hope its taste isn't as disastrous." by Dakshinaa Vinod
"First on-premises HSE round since prior to the COVID lockdown: Forgotten lunch boxes with high chemical degradation detected. Please go back to your home offices until further notice." by Mika Tienhaara
"It's true! The "Homemade Chili Contest" is considered a HAZWOPER operation." by Allen Hawker
"They were right in designating the kitchen as a "confined space"" by Jatin Shah
"I know people were complaining about the small microwave, but this new one must be enormous." by Sanjay Gangal
"Someone forgot to clean out the refrigerator again!" by Sanjay Gangal
"Martha, we have a problem!" by Karl Tran-Saltzman
"Too many managers here, level of political radiation is dangerous to your health." by Gershon/Garry Scheartz
"Oh, no. Someone is heating fish again!" by Kamran Sadighi