What do you mean you couldn’t find the shutoff valve?
"When did Shaquille O’Neal start working in our Design Department?" Submitted by Richard Gauthe
"Loose lips sink ships . . . no, that's not it, Red skies at night, sailors delight . . . no no . . . Simmons, I remember the magic passwords, Lefty loosey righty tighty! " Submitted by Chuck Lewis
"The agitator should be on the inside." Submitted by Cameron Watt
Other Submissions"This is what happens when you have a 6' 8", 300-lb engineer writing your valve specs." Submitted by John Aiken; Monroeville, Pa.
"Really? A MOC was done on this UPgrade." Submitted by Jeanette DeGennaro, Fair Lawn, N.J.
"Instead of diverting flow to the targeted tank, we found a more direct way to divert the pipe itself using this wheel!" Submitted by Sebastian Thomas; Sharjah
"Hey! Do you have a driving license for 5000000L reactors?" Submitted by Nídia Sá Caetano
"This is what they call the wheel of fortune!" Submitted by Nídia Sá Caetano
"This new aerogenerator is quite portable!" Submitted by Nídia Sá Caetano
" No, No, No. The labels are all wrong. It's 'righty tighty'." Submitted by Kirby Hostetler; Barberton, Ohio
"They were supposed to 5S this, but this is ridiculous." Submitted by Mervin Archer
" Will you look at that. I specified a blue hand wheel. I told them BLUE!!!" Submitted by David Debari
"Turn oh magic valve, turn I say!" Submitted by Rick Staley
" Remember, when I yell NOW!! . . . The maintenance crew on the inside will pull the pin and you and are to catch the valve." Submitted by Chuck Lewis
"It was designed at corporate headquarters." Submitted by Wilfred J. Robin
"Call BP! I think we found the valve that shuts off flow from Deepwater Horizon!" Submitted by Jim McDow; Augusta, Ga.
"A field corollary to the Big Red 'EASY' Button." Submitted by Bob Vaughn
"I don't know which way is open and which is closed, do you?" Submitted by Michael Akins
"Harry's roulette addiction was getting all too obvious." Submitted by Rob Falconer; Lakeland, Fla.
"How do they expect us to turn this wheel without a ladder?" Submitted by Donald Drummond; Clarksburg, W. Va.
"Whose signed off on this?" Submitted by Cameron Watt
"Where's the other half of the Ezekiel valve?" Submitted by Cameron Watt
"Health and safety won't let us use just one man to open that." Submitted by Cameron Watt
"The operators here in Nairobi are tall men." Submitted by Cameron Watt
"How much wind will THAT catch?" Submitted by Cameron Watt
" Don't you know that OSHA requires a safety harness above 4 feet." Submitted by Larry Donaldson; McIntyre, Ga.
"It looks cleaner than the water in the Gulf of Mexico. . . ." Submitted by Goran Zarkov
"It seems everything in my life is just out of reach." Submitted by Traci Lynn; Olmsted Falls, Ohio.