There's a Mr. Davis with a big beak. . . I mean from Big Beaker, Inc.
in the lobby to see you."
Honorable Mentions
"While I am impressed that you synthesized my hair color, I'm still not going out with you while you wear that shirt and tie." Submitted by Paul Plante
"So you claim, with your new process, you can get blood out of a turnip?" Submitted by Kirby Hostetler; Barberton, Ohio
"I know we asked for a sample of your work -- but did you have to take it literally?" Submitted by Virgina Shuttlecock; Mt. Pleasant, Mich.
Click here to see the current Comical Processing cartoon.
Other Submissions
"I'm sorry, Mr. Simpson is no longer here. He was fired for violating the company's gift policy for accepting a large test tube full of white wine last Christmas." Submitted by Chuck Lewis
"Since we didn't buy the ounce of prevention last week, he's back with a pound of cure...should I send him in?" Submitted by Jason Pielaet; Batavia, N.Y.
"So what? We all have given our blood now where is your sweat, and tears." Submitted by George Collins
"Sir, we're not allowed to accept Christmas gifts...it's our policy." Submitted by Lon Bauer
"There's a Mr. Earl N. Meyer from Florence Liquors who claims he has an idea for an improved Dewar's." Submitted by Joseph Barbanel
"I see tie of green . . . red flask too, I see the boom... for me and for you.. And I think to myself... what a wonderful world." Submitted by Jatin D. Shah
"Here You can't bring That Vilal In here you might spill it all over the rug." Submitted by Clarksburg, W. Va.
"I'm sorry, you can't go out in public looking like that, it just doesn't match . . . think what your wife would say . . . " Submitted by Mike Jackson
"No sir, we do not run urine tests here." Submitted by Patricio Proust
"You must be the Hair Dye salesman. I love the color. Is this the discount size?" Submitted by Mervin Archer
"There is a wine salesman here to see you, and he says he has a free gift for you and the rest of the management team." Submitted by Robert Andrew
"Yes sir, the new hire is here for orientation and drug testing. He brought his own sample." Submitted by Robert Andrew
"Are you sure they said 'Take This To Your Leader?'" Submitted by M. McMullen; Bloomington, Ind.
"It's Gerry the new Saleman, Mr. Craddock...he says he has the proof he bled his customers dry as you requested!" Submitted by Craig Watkinson; Nottingham, UK
"When did you get the idea that sharing that at the park was a proper date?" Submitted by Cameron Watt
"So the boys are getting together for another 'swill -n- spill'" Submitted by Cameron Watt
"At this point I'm going to remind you of the employee dating policy." Submitted by Cameron Watt
". . . and you say that wine only cost five bucks? " Submitted by Cameron Watt
". . . there's a man here, who says there's a little problem with his random drug testing sample." Submitted by M. Steinrich
"Yes, the Doctor was a little worried about the amount of blood in your urine." Submitted by Rob Falconer; Lakeland, Fla.
"So, you extracted the blue liquid from the purple liquid and got ... red liquid!" Submitted by Rob Falconer; Lakeland, Fla.